Connecting to resilience in challenging times

When things feel hard and out of our control it can be challenging to tap into resilience, like it got buried somewhere in the weight of all we have to hold. But I would offer these are exactly the times that its even more important to re-establish our connection to resilience and that in fact it can enable us to ride the waves of challenge a little more smoothly.

Of course this isn't to ignore our troubles or somehow ‘polyanna’ ourselves into feeling better. But through activating our inherent human ability for resilience we can replenish our own energy and in turn maybe offer some of that energy out to those in need of support, including ourselves.`

Carry on reading for my love-letter to resilience and a somatic exploration. *the practice mentioned below is from the book The politics of trauma - Staci Haines (I highly recommend)

Fear is a five-lane highway in the brain, while resilience a foot path through the woods. We can make that dirt path wider by walking it, over and over again. - Andrew Huberman

Resilence has become a dirty word in some circles, tied into toxic hustle culture and the idea of keeping ourselves strong so we can take more blows. Resilience has also been weaponised and used as a reason or excuse to ignore the harm and opression many communities face.

We sometimes use reslilence to minimise the pain and suffering of others ‘oh but they’re so resilient' and excuse inaction or the lack help we give to those in need. It goes without saying that this is not the version of reslilence I am alluding to and resilience can be a powerful ally in times of challenge.

So what is resilience?

‘Resilience is the ability to somatically, holistically renew ourselves during and after opressive, threatening or traumatic experiences' - Staci K Haines

Resilience allows for safety, dignity and belonging to be re-established. It's our ability to bounce back, like moss after we've stepped on it. Its where we find our intactness again. Its the inherent human ability that we have to ‘come back' to ourselves, to connectedness, to positive vision even when the experiences and conditions are difficult.

Its our ability to stay connected to hope and goodness, and relate this to how we choose, act and decide. Our resilience is part of how we live through very hard times and is what can support happiness, connection and well being.

The brilliant thing is that resilience can be a somatic experience - meaning we can feel it in our body and have a relationship with it.

Connecting to states of resilience can help us to stay more connected to ourselves. Like we can rest into ourselves a little easier. Resilience can be invigorating and calming at the same time and it usually connects us more to others, to our environment, to land and spirit.

If you were to notice the sensations of resilience you might notice a sense of warmth and expansion, more ease or relaxation and a sense of the body being wider, deeper, taller. There might be a sense of being more settled in the hips or lower body.

If you were to notice the emotions of resilence you'd likely find a sense of calmness, curiosity and connection.

Relationally reslilience often shows in connection, the feeling of wanting to give and receive, to be more patient and compassionate. A place where we find loving acceptance.

My invitation to you is to try it for yourself,

Offer yourself an exploration of how resilience feels in your body and notice if it can be a supportive force for you to return to in times of challenge .

A somatic resilience experiment to journal or consider:

As you consider your own life what are experiences of resilience for you?

When is a time either recently or in the past that you've felt enlivened, peaceful, whole, hopeful, wise, connected with everything or that sense that ‘its all going to be ok’ - your version of resilience.

This doesn't have to be connected to a time of hurt or trauma, in fact in some ways it's better if it's not. We're looking for an experience where you felt that sense of expansion or ease & relaxation, of curiosity and connection, aligned with yourself and life.

When you find the experience I encourage you to describe it for yourself in as much detail as possible. Allow it to live again through the power of memory and sensation. What do you see, smell, feel? Where were you? What moved you?

Let it resource you as fully as is possible in this moment. You might want to consider who you were with? What sensations, quality of light, sense of temperature can you rememember?

Let it be with you and notice what happens in your body as you bring this memory forward to right now. You might want to pause and journal here or just allow yourself to have the experience of it all.

What did you notice, how do you feel now?

The last thing we can explore with this practice is the idea of 'turning it up or down'

If your expererience of resilience could be just the right level of resource for you right now, would you turn the volume up or down? What would be most resourcing?

You can imagine as if you've got a volume control and allow yourself to turn up the experience of sensation, emotions and thoughts, then go back to neutral and explore turning down the somatic feeling. What is this like for you? What do you notice in your body?

Its important to note here that more is not always better.

I'd love to know if you try this exploration and what comes up for you. If you feel called to share your experience of resilience with me you cna share your comments below.

I love the idea of us all sharing resliency stories and creating a collective experience that is powerfully resourcing.

If you feel called to continue cultivatiing resilience you can try these two simple ways to bring it front and centre to your daily life:

Purposefully find and do activities that bring you resilience - daily, weekly, monthly and notice your sensations and body.
Notice moments of resilience as they arrive and play with turning up or down the volume on them & experience them somatically.

If you'd like to explore this and many other practices please check out my events page or how to work with me below ❤️