Go at your own pace (why forcing body connection rarely works)

I talk a lot about listening & connecting to your body in this space and as with all things I think its important to offer that there isn’t just one way.Learning your version of body connection really (really) matters.

As a society we’re pretty disconnected from our body’s. We prize cognition over sensory connection for sure and yes, its a really good idea to exist in the whole of you, not just in your head and, If you’re feeling disconnected from your body there might also be a very good reason for that.

If it feels hard to connect with your body, if there’s a numbness or dissociation to yourself, whether that’s all of your body or a particular part of it, then it’s important to listen to that as well.

Because maybe that disconnect is actually a safety mechanism kicking in to prevent you from feeling too much or being overwhelmed. This is something your body is really good at doing - keeping you safe

Disembodiment & disconnection (part of the FREEZE response) from your body can be an adaptive defence mechanism, that is offering a form of support.

You see, our bodies hold the stories of our past, often imprinted in the language of sensation and implicit memory. Stories that haven’t been able to be integrated because we didn’t know how or we didn’t have the the tools.

By making contact with our body through practices like meditation, mindfulness, yoga or somatics we can open the doorway to that unintegrated material and while that can be deeply healing - sometimes it can feel like 'too much’.

In some moments or periods of life it’s easier and more supportive to stay with the disconnection (or, on the edges of connection) rather than fall into our feelings.

Because we might not have the capacity to hold space for what we find right now, we might already be full of life stuff that needs dealing with.

Now of course that doesn’t mean we can’t or shouldn't encourage a connection to our body's at these times, or that we should constantly ignore how we feel but there’s a way we can be open to listen to exactly what’s present for us and respond accordingly.

One of the things I say again and again is EASY DOES IT. (thanks Organic Intelligence)

Sometimes if we go too deep, too fast into sensation and our inner landscape (interoception) we can get lost in the depths of what's there, and instead of creating connection we just reaffirm that: connection = unsafe or not enjoyable and we stay disconnected.

Listening to your body means creating a sustainable and enjoyable relationship with the whole of you, learning how to gently approach your defence mechanisms (like disconnection/freeze) and your edges, because we know that they exist for a reason.

It means respecting where we are on any given day and learning approaches to adapt to what our current circumstances are. This in itself is the work of creating a trusting relationship with yourself and your body.

Learning what's too much and what's just enough and working within your bodilly thresholds, depends on the week you're having, your capacity and what's happening in your life right now.

Learning YOUR version of body connection is really important, there is no one size fits all. **

For me, in this work of learning to connect with your body the headlines are always personal discernment and body autonomy. No-one has the right to tell you what feels right or good in your body, no one else but you gets to decide what ‘safe enough’ feels like.

Connecting with this is imperative for a loving and susatinable relationship with your body

**Sometimes that means working with someone to figure out those parameters so that you can gently tend to yourself, creating anchor points of safety (or safe enough) as you explore the connection to your body.

If you’re curious about creating support to understand your body’s responses and create safety in your body connection then have a look at how to work with me below ❤️